My Birthday Wish List (2006)

This Saturday is my birthday. Last year at this time my column was all about my birthday wish for 2005. I referenced Jim Carry's "Liar, Liar" movie and wished for honesty from our political leaders. So in that same spirit here's my birthday wish list for 2006.

I wish...

• ...that the Democratically elected majority in both the House of Representatives and the Senate find the cajones to take on the Bush crime family. It's starting to look that way, but I want to give them my extra special birthday wish list support.
  
• ...that progressive talk radio returns to the Boston area.
  
• ...that Turd-Blossom Rove gets fingered in the Jack Abramoff scandals. Is there anyone else who deserves to be in prison more?
  
• ...that Darth Cheney gets shot by one of his own friends on a hunting trip. He could easily be mistaken for a pheasant.
  
• ...that Tom Delay becomes Mark Foley's bitch in prison.
  
• ...that the new Congress makes sweeping strides in stemming the tide of corruption in Washington. Can you say "Publicy-funded Elections"? How 'bout "Lobbying Reform"?
  
• ...that whomever wins the Democratic nomination selects Sen. Russ Feingold of Wisconson as their veep. There isn't a person in Washington I trust more. I'd rather see him as our president, but if that can't be, I'll settle for him as our Vice-President and hope that he can have a strong influence on our national policies.
  
• ...that the media wakes up from their 6-year slumber to do their jobs. You know... investigate, probe, and research. Some of them don't realize that they're supposed to be our political watchdogs. Take your queues from Keith Olbermann, people - don't just parrot the talking points & press releases. That's what the pundits are for.
  
• ...that religious blow-hards like Pat Robertson and the like get struck by lightning and meet their maker a lot sooner. C'mon boys - make your own rapture! And while I'm at it...
  
• ...that religion would just stay the f**k away from government. Do your own thing on your own time... believe what you want about God & the afterlife... but keep it out of our politics! We have enough dipsticks in the White House without them using God as an excuse for their misdeeds.
  
• ...that one of Mitt Romney's children would 'come out'. Perhaps if someone he loved were gay he might have a little more compassion & understanding for people who are different than him. And if you don't buy the 'compassion & understanding' stuff, how about civil liberties and equal rights? Why is it okay to openly discriminate based on sexual orientation?
  
• ...that those ignorant sheeple who continue to support Bush finally learn how to read and get access to the Internet. Anyone who still stands behind the Bush crime family clearly isn't paying attention.
  
• ...that George W. Bush is stricken by an illness that could've been cured by stem-cell research. Then we'd see how fast he'd be willing to kill embyos in order to advance science.

Well, that's my birthday wish list for now. Next I'll work on my New Year's resolutions.