August 05, 2005

Why Is Sex Taboo?

The other night I sat down for an innocent evening of prime-time television. I watched two mindless sitcoms on one of the networks. “Everyone Loves Raymond” aired a re-run where Marie (the always-butting-in mother-in-law) was being her usual self and infuriating (Raymond’s wife) Deborah. Raymond, being the ‘guy’ that he is, took advantage of that, and was feasting on the ‘Angry Sex’. In the next show, “Two And A Half Men”, Charlie’s mother borrowed his sports car to impress a client and ended up having sex in the back seat… even leaving her bra behind accidentally. Near the end of the show, Jon Cryer was comforting his ex-wife following a break-up with her boyfriend, to the point where they were about to go up to the bedroom and have sex. In between I saw a few commercials for Viagra, Levitra, and Victoria’s Secret.

As I was being bombarded with messages and innuendos of sex, I started to think (as I often do) that it was time to step ‘out of the box’ again, and put this all into perspective. Sooner or later I was bound to get to this topic… my favorite topic... sex! I’d like to say that I’m an expert in this field, but the truth is I’m just another putz with an opinion. The difference is I have a computer, the passion to write, and the chutzpa to publish it.

So much of our culture, our media, our daily routine, our very fiber of existence comes down to sex. You think ‘Sell it with Sex’ is just a marketing ploy? How much of our promotion and advertising is centered on sex? How much of the Internet is pornography? How much sex is the focus of our fashion? The reality is that sex is an integral part of our culture. It’s practically the very root of that “pursuit of happiness” concept. Sex drives us. Sex manipulates us. Sex burns our blood.

Here’s The Irony

While our culture relentlessly shoves sex down our throat 24/7, our society postures sex as taboo. A perfect example is the initiative for abstinence-only education that our stuck-up, religion-based government is wasting our tax dollars on, instead of birth control, traditional contraception, and family planning. Why does our so-called ‘morality’ insist that sex is only for those who are married, and even then only done in private? Why is sex something that the Catholic religion forbids out of wedlock? Why don’t we talk about sex at work and with our friends?

“Oh yes, my husband gave me quite the schtupping last night! We did it every which way I can think of and I had 7 orgasms!”

With certain exceptions (such as Howard Stern) we don’t talk about sex. We’re not supposed to. With the exception of “The Man Show” hosts, we don’t talk about masturbation, yet it’s widely acknowledged that it’s perfectly normal. Those who DO talk about these things are labeled ‘Perverts’ and chastised in our society. But we all do it. We all think it. We all want it. So why is sex so taboo? Why do we continue to cover up nipples and crotches on commercial television? Why is prostitution illegal? Why did Janet Jackson’s tit launch a national crusade for decency?

Of course we all like sex, so why don’t we just condone it? No argument that there needs to be understanding, consideration, protection, maturity, discretion, and responsibility in the process, but why don’t we just admit we like sex, give in to our desires, and be open about it, instead of hiding it and pretending it doesn’t take place ALL THE TIME? What if sex wasn’t a forbidden fruit? Would we crave it as much? Would we be thinking about sex morning, noon, and night if our society and our culture were more open? It’s hard to say.

Here’s The Problem

The problem with our society is that a relatively small group of people have banded together and decided the bounds of decency. Some old ladies in Texas have drawn the line for us of what is acceptable and what is unacceptable. Or perhaps it’s the ‘Religious Right’, who have always thought it was their place to delineate the guidelines of morality. And we’ve bought that code of conduct hook, line, & sinker. They’ve made the decisions for us of what is right and what is wrong, and they’ve set the standards of how we live our lives. And if we don’t conduct ourselves exactly as they say, we’re deviants… we’re perverted... we’re mal-adjusted... we’re disgusting… we’re………. human.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I completely agree, and I personally find it very annoying how people tend to treat sex as a taboo subject. This article definitely made me feel like less of an outcast and that having sex is not such a bad thing but more of a common thing for all humans to enjoy and engage in.

12:34 AM  
Anonymous Donovan Baldwin said...

I agree. Well said. Sex is no less important, or normal, than food, clothing, and entertainment. What kind of sex you do, where you do it, and who you do it with, may be personal choices, but the fact that men have penises and women have vaginas, both have orgasms, and we are here because of those facts should not be something to be ashamed of or disgusted about.

I invite all to drop by my website on health and fitness.

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I LOVE your question, "would we crave it as much?" I know the fastest way to get a kid, or at least a teen, to do something is to tell them not to, yet parents continue to do it. My mother always told me that "sex is nasty". I never wondered "well, where did I come from?" I just wanted to know everything about this "forbidden fruit". I also believed her, as in I thought I was "nasty" for wanting it so much - caused a lot of problems in my life.

Yet, I've recently learned my 16-year-old step-daughter is "sexually active". On one hand, I'm mortified because I still see her as a child and I feel powerless because she lives with her dad, but on the other, I question my thinking. Why should she not have sex? As long as she is safe about it and she is not being taken advantage of, what's the problem?

I believe it's my own upbringing. After all, we all have one or the other as far as parts go. We all eat, drink, pee, poop, masturbate, and have sex. Our parts look like 50% of the world's population, and we enjoy the parts of the other 50% (mostly). So yeah, what's the big deal?! To me, genitalia, male and female, tend to look VERY similar, while faces are VERY individualistic. Why don't we cover our faces instead of our "generic parts"? Nipples are not sexual, essential to reproduction maybe, but not sexual. Why do women have to cover them? Because they're "erogenous"? What about our hands? Or our lips? FAR more erogenous than nipples - at least for some people.

And another thing, why is it that a woman will wear a skimpy bikini to the beach, in front of possibly hundreds of people, but she wouldn't be caught dead in public in her bra and panties (which probably cover more skin)? Anyway, yeah, I know this is a very old post, and I'm probably rambling, but you struck a chord with me. Like the previous Anonymous said, you made me feel like less of an outcast. I'm thankful there are other free-thinkers out there!!

3:54 PM  

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